office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
