Banned from zoo.
Again?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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