omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
