Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
