I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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