Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
