Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize