just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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