I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
