Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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