I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
