Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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