yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
