Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
