Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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