The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
