I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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