She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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