he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
