I'm jealous of your bromance
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
