two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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