Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize