update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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