im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
