I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
