that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
