Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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