If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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