i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
