SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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