So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
