should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
