He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
