i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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