hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
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