How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize