After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
