i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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