I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
