i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
