I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
