$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this will be a night to untag.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
