i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
