I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
