Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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