so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize