The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize