She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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