He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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