One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
