THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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