Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
