I hate your face
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
