i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
