Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
