Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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