So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
only you would photoshop your dick
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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