it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
