Me too!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
