I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
