dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize