I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
