I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
