You made me cry and you don't even care
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
