apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize