this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
