I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
