totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize