Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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