She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
