Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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