Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
