she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize