I love black thongs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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