Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize